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'When Breath Becomes Air'- A memoir of Paul Kalanithi

What Makes Life Worth Living In The Face of Death? 

There are just a lot of emotions flowing as I write this. So compelling a read, it is a shattering and intimate book. When Breath Becomes Air is a sorrowful tale of doctor Paul Kalinithi. All his life, he pursued neuroscience as a deep passion. And after decades of striving and hard work in residency, when he was just months away from realizing his dream, he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. In an instant, his life upturned as a neurosurgeon-scientist, a doctor, to that of a cancer patient. He did not even know whether he had some months or years left.

All his life, he wondered how to lead a meaningful life. Or what makes a life worth living. Despite being a surgeon witnessing death on a near-daily basis, he found his answer by facing his own death. These questions about life and death make this book a universal read. 

He wrote this story just months before his death. Yet, he wrote a story so intimate and compelling. He does not shy away from bringing his vulnerability and humour, as would happen to a person facing death. This man truly lived a meaningful life! His wife says it best in the end, "What happened to Paul was tragic, but he was not a tragedy." He did not struggle or try to avoid the unavoidable. He found his meaning in his daughter Cady, who was just 8 months old when he died. His last wish was to remove the ventilator and hold his daughter and wife. That really touches the heart.

The ending note by Lucy, his wife, is the perfect ending to this sublime read. That left me with a heavy heart and watery eyes. She waters the grass around his grave with wine, his favourite. A perfect book in every sense. Except, we could not have got it, had he not died, and throughout the book, I wish he had not.

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